Love (hate) poem #1

Back in late 2001, a few months after his heroin overdose, Nate and I took kind of a relationship break while he went to detox/live in a tipi in southern KY. Partially to do some soul searching and partially for other circumstantial reasons relating to the OD. Well, in January, only a couple months into our “break” I came home from school and he was sitting on my front stoop with his bag of stuff. No calling ahead, no warning, no nothing. Naturally, he wanted to pick up where we left off, but at the time I had just started dating someone else. He ended up moving in to Victor St. anyway. And needless to say, the next six or seven months that we were living together, but not together, were intense. Heated. And sparked a whole series poetry of it’s own.

I hate some of those poems. A lot of pain and confusion between the two of us during this time. Anyway, this poem’s not so bad, but there are others that hurt a lot that I’ll post later …as soon as I get rid of these knots in my stomach.

Up and Down
Magnets in the sand
Will the ends to a meeting
So simple the pulse in the hand
I know our hearts are beating
And fervor and fury and F words
The vibration is taking a new curve
It’s music, it’s light and chords
Emotional blankets undercover and swerve
Hey pretty girl do you go home with pigs
Do you dance at night, are you living
Does your eyesight seem full with stigs
Is it Judy’s tiny head you’re giving
Nay, the light is in the ocean
The elixir is nothing but right
Does the bottom seem like the potion
The motion when you’re feeling tight
Was he pale last night and drooling
Was it two sides negative again
Did the sand in your hand seem tooling
Did you wish you opened your eyes and then…
Did you wish the wish that is your dream…did you scream
Were you with the thing that you thought that seemed…you didn’t dream!

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One Response to Love (hate) poem #1

  1. Emilia says:

    Hi Carolyn,

    I like this blog, and that you are keeping it. I like reading your reflections about Nate, and about your life together, ups and downs. Your tone feels genuine and comfortable. Your thoughts feel sincere. Buddy :)

    -Emilia

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